Fear

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A snapshot of strong {Part 1}: Wendy.

Please, meet Wendy. She is a dear friend with a Little J like mine. This her snapshot of strong. November 4, 2005.  Lunchtime.  After a bout of nausea I questioned: could I be pregnant? After three years of unsuccessful attempts we had decided to stop trying to get pregnant until we knew what the military had planned for Jeremy.  Just about everyone we knew was either currently in Iraq or Afghanistan or they had orders to be headed over soon. ...

Part Seven: The Aftermath.

*This is the final installment in this particular piece of our story. Thanks for reading, for encouraging. Now you know a little more about me, about our Army life, about the beginning. Ever and always, my prayer is that you see grace here.* . . . My darkest days were in the aftermath of her funeral. Highlighted in my beat-up leather study Bible is Psalm 69:1-3, and scribbled by it is the date, Feb. 26, 2006. “Save me, O God! For...

Part Five: The Swallowing Up

*These are events occurring in January of 2006.* . . . In a split second, the fear ate me alive.  It started with a news story and well meaning phone calls. News of a helicopter crash travels fast in our community and I had seen it on the news. A few key details . . . type of aircraft, location, et cetera helps in narrowing down quickly who could be involved. I saw the news photos of one crumpled Blackhawk...

Part One: The First Goodbye

*In case I haven’t made it clear, this is primarily a recounting of events that took place in 2005-2006. This is not happening right now.* We have a death to-do list. I mean, who doesn’t, right? Husband’s initial interment request was that I fly his ashes in a Blackhawk over the Dallas Cowboys stadium and scatter them at halftime during the annual Cowboys-Redskins grudge match football game. No. Not going to happen. Gross on so many levels. In addition, illegal?...

Worry …

Before you read further …. I am sharing this because worry is also part of reason I haven’t blogged as much lately, but since I wrote this, God is providing patience, some rest, and while we have a few answers for some specific questions, there are always more unknowns, so this is ever and always a constant battle. It has come up in several conversations over the past weeks so I wanted to share my thoughts. Just know we are...

Hope

For whatever things written before were written for our learning, that we through the patience and comfort of the Scriptures might have hope. ~ Romans 15:4 Last week I wrote about fear. Now I have a confession to make:  I always tell others, mostly fellow Army wives, that battling fear is a daily struggle. There is no magic pill, special prayer, specific activity, pithy quote, adult beverage, etc, that instantly unfreezes you. That keeps you calm when you haven’t gotten...

Happy New Year and all that ….

I am boycotting New Year’s Eve after this year. Lame. For more reasons than this, but last night Wee Man Would. Not. Sleep. Hour(s) of wailing. Then J peed the bed. And woke Wee Man up. Then he woke up again. Then he was a.wa.k.e. at 6:30 am. I seriously considered just putting my mouth under the drip on the coffee pot. I don’t need taste buds anymore. I do need caffeine.  Anyway, not my favorite holiday. However, the majority...