Husband

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An Open Letter to my Mother-in-Law

(In the space of two short weeks, we’ve celebrated my husband’s birthday, our 12th anniversary, and Mother’s Day. This felt right today, to honor my mother-in-law the way she honors us. Don’t worry, I love my mom too – you’ll learn more about her tomorrow.) Dear Kris, Thirty-nine years you’ve had this boy (man), and for the last twelve, you’ve ever so graciously relinquished him to me. You embraced me into your family with all the attending chaos – the feet...

To The Military Spouse

For the military spouse.  Monday night was spent saying goodbye to old and new friends. They are moving on, to parts west and far east of here and it’s got me thinking about my people. We’ve landed here in the woods of Northern Virginia close to a year now and still the moving is hard. And truth be told, this girl is tired. So tired. And we are at the tail end of a weighty two weeks and I look around...

A Goodbye Letter

On Tuesday, May 3, my husband’s dear friend of twenty six years took his own life. Even separated by time and distance there are people whose threads are so woven into our  every day moments that they exist there almost unseen, until suddenly, the thread is cut. The story ends on this hunk of rock, all sin-scarred and grief laden. In an instant, the picture is irrevocably dim. Robert Knox Mitchell, Esquire, was my husband’s lifelong friend, and so the Husband knew him best. It was...

On Fear, and Not Being Okay.

Two weeks ago, I had a paper cut on my wrist. By lunchtime, it was red and a little sore. By dinner, there were red streaks halfway up my forearm. By the time I swallowed the antibiotics in the emergency room, they were past my elbow. Oh, and a few years, ago, my dad almost died from a staph infection that turned into necrotizing fasciitis in his leg. So when the ER doc tells you he is worried, and lists all the symptoms that...

Top Gun – Part 3 of 3.

(For the beginning of the story, read part 1 and part 2.) Shaping my trajectory was a deep, abiding love for all things aviation. Top Gun was largely to blame for this. I was eight, rattling around my great-grandmother’s basement with my cousins during our family reunion. I was the odd one out-not old enough for the double digit crowd, but way too mature for the six year olds, obviously. In the melee, my older sister and cousins managed to...

Reintegration: Where I tell you about oceans.

(If you are new here, my husband is a medevac pilot who just returned home from a 9 month deployment to Afghanistan.) He’s home now, and we are lying in the dark under the covers, me with my hand on his arm because we must be touching. And he’s right next to me, but there is an ocean between us while he tells me what he’s seen. I’m holding my breath to keep the tears quiet, but they slip fat and...