. Ordinary Parenting ~ The Grace Between
Ordinary Parenting ~ The Grace Between

Ordinary Parenting

{More Five Minute Friday in which I take longer than five minutes. Also, because I was typing most of this one handed while nursing, I was forced to do some significant editing so  it didn’t look like a drunk monkey wrote this. Linking up with some lovely women as always.}

This morning I was hanging out upstairs with the Wee Man. And oh, how this real life Dennis the Menace, stealer of chocolate pumpkin bread, wielder of swords (and stabber of ALL THE THINGS) … he owns me. He makes me laugh SO much.

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We were just doing ordinary things that you do with a two year old. A little Mickey Mouse clubhouse. A little climbing on my neck. A little stealth scissor usage. And occasionally, he would grab me around my neck, jerk my face towards his, and give me a slobbery kiss.

In the middle of one his sneak attacks, I was overwhelmed with fresh guilt and grief at the thought of what I missed with the J Girl. A WHOLE YEAR of stealthy kisses and funny words and two year old mayhem. {Editor’s note: In 2009, the Husband and I deployed simultaneously to separate locations and J Girl lived with my big sister for a year. I’ve written about it once, here, and it’s the next chapter of Our Story, and frankly, I’m struggling to write it.}. 

Even five years later I ache over what I missed. Why I am telling you this?

Right, get to the point … I still carry that guilt when I parent her. I compare my moments with her, with him, and I fall short, so, so short.

And tonight, after a phone call from her teacher, (NEVER a good thing at 8 pm on a Thursday), the doubt, and guilt, and fatigue, they are overwhelming me as they come in concert with the other “ordinary” that the Army life flings at us.

So, all this rambling to say, can y’all just pray for me? I promise I’m not fishing for compliments, or playing my tiny violin at my self-hosted pity party. I PROMISE.

Is it ordinary for mommyhood to be this hard? Because I. Am. Tired. And the answer terrifes me, more than the actual parenting of the children. {Because, yes. Yes, it is. Also, FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS. I know this.}

Because I know all the things that challenge us in this home are not things that have a short term solution … they require consistency, and calm … {Whew, I’m in trouble}. Fortunately, they also come with grace. And I know we will survive, and, dare I even hope … we will thrive. But in the meantime, just pray for me.

{In related news, I am feeling inapproriately resentful towards anyone that even remotely looks like they have it all together. So, don’t be surprised if I “accidently” spill my drink on your perfectly coordinated-with-your-bag-and-shoes, food-free blouse you got for a great bargain. I’m sooo sorry.}

In all seriousness, I covet your prayers as we navigate through some specific issues with J Girl, and I’m so, so thankful tonight for living in community.

~M.

More pumpkin patch visiting and the three precious reasons we keep at it.

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