I was folding laundry by the couch today, tears leaking out, and and it was h.a.r.d to see the sunlight streaming through the front door and highlighting the pattern of paw prints smudged all over our wooden floor.

Why would that be hard?

We put Charlie Dog to sleep this morning.

He was old and tired and had multiple health issues.

He was such a good boy. He loved us and let our babies crawl all over him and J Girl slept on his bed with him and teethed on his dog toys and he made me feel safe and listened to me talk . . .

Yes, we called him lunchbox sometimes because no people food was ever safe, he l.o.v.e.d. garbage, and on occasion, even had himself some tasty poop snacks.

No matter. He was my boy and I loved him and this morning was rough.

J Girl was with me and she brought Pink Baby and her Black Blinkie to help me not to cry. It helped, but not as much as seeing my girl hugging him and being so brave while he slipped away.

Let’s just say that this is the second time in two weeks I was lying on a linoleum floor petting my sweet animal and crying fat tears.

And because I don’t have the time to mop the floors before we go on vacation, the paw smudges smeared on the floor and in my heart will be there when we come home.

And I will probably cry a little more.

Now . . . perspective.

I am thankful for the time we had with Charlie Dog. Thankful for the Simmons family who loaned us Charlie Dog for the last six years. First world problems. For sure.

In other news, bear with me, because I am changing the look of the blog one more time . . . I attended a writer’s conference last weekend and I am so excited to use what I have learned . . . I want to tell you a little more about our family and our journey. I want to tell you about grief and grace, about fear and faith, and a little more about the astonishing logistics of this Army life. It’s coming soon, I promise!

In the meantime, pray for me tonight – I’m a little raw, a little teary. I miss my Charlie Dog.

~M.