For whatever things written before were written for our learning, that we through the patience and comfort of the Scriptures might have hope. ~ Romans 15:4
Last week I wrote about fear.
Now I have a confession to make:
I always tell others, mostly fellow Army wives, that battling fear is a daily struggle. There is no magic pill, special prayer, specific activity, pithy quote, adult beverage, etc, that instantly unfreezes you. That keeps you calm when you haven’t gotten the daily phone call and he’s on a mission and you are spiraling into crazy imagining all that’s gone wrong. When dark closes in and you are stiff-legged in bed, flinching at every noise, hand resting on your gun that you debated keeping under the pillow but at least left under the bed. You fight every day and slog through it and towards the end, you sleep a little easier, you breathe more. You surrender every day to a loving and merciful Savior with a Master Plan and irresistable Grace.
And it’s true. The fear, and the answer. And I have made that journey more than once.
But, secretly, even after seven years, I still wake up and want the pill. Desperately want a quick fix. A wave of the magic wand. The words “everything will be okay” to actually make everything okay. Enough to still, on bad days, sort of kind of look for it.
Yep. I’m a hypocrite.
On Sunday our Pastor preached on hope. Hope grounded in Scripture.
Well! I sat up a little straighter. Maybe even leaned forward a little. Maybe, just maybe, this was it. The magic sermon, the pithy verse. The quick fix.
His primary Scripture reference was Romans 15:4.
For whatever things written before were written for our learning, that we through the patience and comfort of the Scriptures might have hope.
Patience is my Kryptonite.
I was taking notes on my iPhone … (not because I am super tech savvy and secretly want you to know how hip and Mactastic I am, but because J girl bogarts every single writing utensil and scrap of paper I have as soon as we walk through the doors) … and in a cartoony light bulb moment that I wish I could properly explain, I got it. It was splashed all over my impatient, self-pitying soul.
Turns out there really is no magic pill. Okay it is a pithy verse, but with a devastatingly simple answer.
The patience and comfort of Scripture. And to know the comfort, I have to know the Scripture. Day in, day out, tasting the words, turning the pages, rereading, meditating, memorizing, knowing God’s promises, His Saving graces.
Devote yourself to this Book to grow in hope. Aha.
There will never be a quick fix, only a slow and steadfast journey, a continuous thirst for Living water, a soul fed with Daily bread.
Patience. Commitment. My Kryptonite.
He challenged us to read the Bible through in one year.
I have a plan, there are many available.
I started this year with fear. A physical, dark, weighty, presence hovering over the next 365 days. In an odd way, a self-pitying way, I reveled in it.
And through God’s loving rebuke to my impatience and doubt, I have a solution. A 365-day solution to build a foundation for the rest of my life. 365 days of hope, to counter a lifetime of fear.
“We have truth and the knowledge that God is a promise-keeping God … so when events of this world come up, we are not shaken … as we submit and commit to Scripture, it acts as a ballast, what storms may come.” ~ Paraphrased from Pastor Dale.
A.V. also wrote about fear, better than me of course, and this was her husband’s response.
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“” He grins from over the bathroom sink. “That means even on a leap year you have to have enough faith to jump into His arms — every day.”
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So I’m jumping.
~M.
P.S. I feel like probably everybody already knows this and I am waaaaay late to the party, but had to share after last week!
love you molly. sweet molly.